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The Dodgers Hit a Rocky Patch in Colorado, Drop in the Standings
The Dodgers up until the series with the Rockies had been making me as happy as a damn clam. They had that first place tie, they were actually using that wonderful technique called “hitting the ball” that we hadn’t seen for much of the season so far and they were using their defensive capabilities more.
Well that changed with their series against the Rockies. I could make puns all day like “Things Get Rocky for Dodgers” or some other bullshit like that. But none of it eases the pain that after that nice little series in Colorado, the Dodgers dropped to second place.
The series which lasted from Monday to Wednesday started out like a bad porn. It gets you all excited and then just totally gets lost in the plot and turns into something you can watch on Skinemax. What I mean is, the Dodgers did phenomenal in their first game. During this game, the Dodgers brought in 16 runs over the Rockies 10 runs. Now while even a blind hobo can hit out of Coors Field because the field sucks, the Dodgers did do their fair share of great hitting. They made Rockies starter Brandon Lyon look like a little sissy-la-la as he gave up five runs in the ninth.
As easy as it is at Coors Field to lose a lead and have the opposing assclowns catch up, the Dodgers thankfully were able to hold back the Rockies even as the tried for a late game rally. The Dodgers were indeed victorious.
Too bad Tuesday and Wednesday didn’t fair so well. On Tuesday, Clayton Kershaw was just disappointing as all hell. He had three weeks in Double-A to learn how to not screw up so much. Apparently it did no good. Kershaw gave up five runs out of ten hits which is better than I could ever do, but bad considering he is supposedly a professional baseball player. The Dodgers ended up losing 10-1 which is on the other side of the spectrum compared to the previous night. They couldn’t hit anywhere near a fraction of the way they did on Monday. Too bad their runs couldn’t be used like rollover minutes. At least Matt Kemp tried. Nice try, buddy.
Wednesday, just twisted the dagger a little deeper. It was a little closer than the night before, but still no cigar. The Dodgers got their asses kicked this time because they couldn’t hit crap. Literally, if i slow-pitched underhand an actual piece of crap, they would not have been able to hit it. The three innings that they scored for the entire game were scored in the first four innings and then decided to just sit on their thumbs and spin for the rest of the game. There were plenty of those famous blown chances. Such as when the Dodgers went 0-7 with runners in scoring position. Andy LaRoche left four runners hanging when they could have been potential runs on the board.
All I can say is I hate Rockies fans and all their purple shit, I hate Coors Field and its high effing altitude and I hate when the Dodgers lose. You think I would be used to that last one by now. Oh freakin ‘well.
See you next game!
-Val
Way to Mess Up a Good Thing-Dodgers Lose Tuesday in the Lamest Way-duh
While the title of this blog may be a bit long, Tuesday’s game made me forget all about the previous dreamscape I was living in the night before (first place, hello!).
The Dodgers just reached the top. For this game, I actually went to the ravine thinking “wow, they did it and i know they’ll play hard to hold onto it”. Yeah, way to jinx it, Valerie.
So with my overpriced coke in hand I watched with eager eyes as Chad Billingsley pitched aggressive and excellent. He was striking out Chipper Jones and I was like “hell yea, in the bag”. The first and second innings pass and good old Chad was just throwing some real heat. The third inning comes and he’s on fire. No hits. Then the fourth inning comes. Our boy Chad started looking a little shaky. Then in the fifth it happened. He gave up pitches like crazy after that. Out of the 11 batters he faced after the fourth inning, six ended up scoring. I was so pissed. Also because a fan in back of me kept talking to himself and I couldn’t focus.
After that, everything just started turning to crap. The Dodgers just couldn’t hit off Braves pitcher Jair Jurrjens. He was kicking their blue and white asses. Not only that, but there were so horrible errors. At one point a ball was hit just a little bit above second basemen Jeff Kent’s head, but he didn’t even jump for it. Like he didn’t even try and it was so in his direction. It was sloppy ball played once again.
The “late game false hope rally” took place in the eighth and ninth as the Dodgers tried to salvage whatever they could. There was even a two run rally. But at that time the Braves already had nine runs on the board and they were trailing by eight. It just wasn’t worth it.
I left the game feeling grumpy and sick. Sick only because I decided to try that pre-made Panda Express food in lieu of a dependable Dodger Dog. Mistake. The only highlight for me came in the eight when some renegade decided to run on the field and started break dancing next to Andruw Jones. The man was then hauled away as people kept leaving. Speaking of Jones, he threw his bat and helmet and pouted every time he struck out yesterday. Damn baby. He also made Matt Kemp bring him his glove as he would walk dramatically to his position as Kemp ran to him. Gosh, Jones. Well only two years of him.
The experience for me can be summed up in these words/phrases:
-Sloppy ball
-Bloating (Panda, again)
-Whiny Babies
-disappointment
-there goes first place
Have a good one and may the next game be better than this.
-Val
Monday Makes Season History-A Win and First Place
That is correct my friends. FIRST F*****G PLACE!
This game seriously made me feel so good. So good that I thought I might want to have kids someday after I get married. Then I snapped out of it and remembered I can’t stand kids at all and I’d rather buy a pet iguana. Anyways, that’s how happy this game made me feel. Let’s look at why…
In two words for starters-Hiroki Kuroda. He has come back stronger than ever the last few games. Kuroda pitched seven perfect innings on Monday bringing flashes of a young Koufax to mind as many wonder if he may be the next generation of great Dodger pitching. He only gave up one hit in the eight when Mark Texeira hit one off him in the eighth. Other than that, Kuroda pitched a hell of game that was able to get the Dodgers a 3-0 win over the Atlanta Braves.
While he held the Braves off, the Dodger offense was able to come through with some good work of the bat by veteran Dodgers Nomar Garciaparra and Matt Kemp. Nomar came through in the bottom of the fifth inning when he hit a 1-2 pitch off Braves pitcher Jorge Campillo. This made the game much more intense and gave the Dodgers the boost they needed to win the game. It’s nice to see Nomar play well without his whole damn body not giving out as usual.
The game may not have been perfect as we remember how in the top of the seventh when Gregor Blacno charged a bunt down the third base line, but luckily the boys came through as Blake DeWitt threw hard enough to James Loney to ensure that Blanco did not get on base by barely making the throw in time. There were some moments where we were like “oh shit, we’re not going to get this one”. Yet, thanks to a little Dodger magic that we’ve seen in the past, we got it.
The game put the Dodgers in that first place position that they had been struggling to reach all season. The Dodgers finally get to the first place spot is like when Dawson’s Creek went off the air-it makes you say “FINALLY!”. No offense to your DC fans, but that show also made me want to punch things. It feels good as we can say that after all the false hope rallies late in the games and all the moments Andruw Jones threw his bat like an overweight baby, it has paid off as the Dodgers might have the best chance they’re had in awhile.
Now, I may be just a little floaty, but I have every reason to be. It feels a little like it could happen and with that I can write this blog for you folks and know that the season got just a little more interesting. Better not jinx it.
See you next game and hopefully no one effs up.
-Val
A Hitless Wonder on Saturday Night Still Gets the Job Done
Saturday night had most of feeling excited, but at the same time saying “how the hell did that happen?’
The Dodgers came out on top Saturday night against the Angels with a score of 1-0. Great right? That wasn’t the weird part. It was how they won.
Technically the Dodgers didn’t get one hit on Saturday night. They came out winners because the Angels made some ridiculous errors that enabled the Dodgers to score. Now it may have been the only run on the board for the game, but that is all the boys in blue needed to clinch victory Saturday night.
In the fifth inning, Angels pitcher Jered Weaver missed a ball hit up the first base line by Matt Kemp. Blake DeWitt came up to bat with Matt Kemp then stealing second and moving onto third after another error was made by Angels catcher Jeff Mathis as he threw a lousy wayward throw allowing Kemp to score on DeWitt’s sacrifice fly to right field.
Incredible. The Dodgers hit nothing all year and somehow it ends up working in their favor. Sounds like an episode of Full House where some cheesy thing happens and the Tanners make it out okay. LAME. Just another day in crazy, mixed-up Dodger land.
And to Jered Weaver: Stop being a whiny baby. The post game coverage was the best watching him yell and scream like a little girl in the dugout. Take it like a man, Weaver and face the fact that you suck and you made some embarrassing errors.
Besides our fans could beat up their fans. I mean come on-has anyone seen the left field pavilion lately?
Keep it blue and see you next game Dodger fans!